Excited Contentment

This has been such a whirlwind of a year. I FINISHED MY FRESHMAN YEAR OF COLLEGE. No doubt one of the best years of my life, there has been countless tears and worries, but the times of abounding joy and laughter outnumbers them all.

I like to call this season of life I'm in: excited contentment. Let me explain myself. 

There has been very short periods of time in my life where I have felt truly content in myself, God, and the position in which he has placed me. Maybe you can relate...

You got that job promotion or you got out of a relationship. And what did you do with it? Maybe you wanted to keep gaining power in your social status and in your work place. Maybe although you may have been satisfied being single for a little while, you soon got impatient and sought out love in the wrong places, for a "quick fix." 

Oh how our generation is plagued by this mindset! We constantly want MORE, and  will do almost anything to fill the void. What happened to "give us this day our daily bread" ? Our DAILY bread. Meaning enough nourishment for the day, just to get through.

 In my life right now, and for the past few months. I've learned what it's meant and what it feels like to content in my current circumstances. (Here's a rough outline: )

1. I am single. 

               Now, although before I have fell into singleness with the approach of "Oh I'll be single, and focus on myself and on God, and the right person will come along." I would tend to be jump at the first opportunity of a relationship. Never really grasping how important it is to embrace being "alone".  

 Currently, I am doing just that. I have never been this content in myself. I'm not looking for a relationship, I'm not looking for someone to "talk to," I'm simply genuinely satisfied in my relationship status, and have come to the conclusion (even though I was sure I had reached this verdict before), that God will bring the right person in my life just at the right time, and for once in my life I have no interest in rushing that process

     2. I am going undecided next semester.
  
               Not knowing what exactly I want to do in my life has led me to make the decision to be undecided next semester to explore my career options. At first, I was really anxious about this decision, worried that taking a step back was the wrong choice. However, I truly feel excited for the opportunity to seek out my other options.

      3. I am about to have the craziest summer of my dreams. 

        

            This summer is just about to kickstart. I'm on SNU's worship band this summer, and will be traveling with my team to different church camps all summer, and we start training next week. And while I'm BEYOND ecstatic for this adventure, I've honestly had some period of doubt and anxiety.

My mom told me a couple days ago, as she knew I was wrestling with these conflicts: "You are in exactly the place you are intended. God is gonna use you guys to witness to hundreds of people, and even though we'd love to have you here, your calling is THERE" 

We have a tendency of:

When we're here we want to be THERE.

When we're nervous of being there, we want to  just stay HERE. 

Philippians 3:13-14 says this: "12 I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.13 I can do all this through him who gives me strength." 

Just stop. Take a breath. And consider the fact that where you are, may be exactly where God wants you to be.

He knows the deepest desires of our hearts, and he will honor those. 

How easily we forget that he is more than enough to satisfy our hungering and searching souls.

With all this being said, by no means do I mean I have it all together, or I don't have a care in the world. In fact, its a little scary and nerve racking to not know where your path leads even into tomorrow. However, I am confident that he will equip you, and equip me, for the journey he has set out for us.

Whatever it is for you. Whether it be being content in your singleness, to being content with your current job or paycheck, find that place within yourself and in God.

Look around the present and towards the future through the lens of excited contentment. There's nothing wrong with looking forward to all that is to come, God has promised us that he has plans in store for us beyond our wildest imagination.

We all just need remember to find satisfaction and contentment in the waiting.

Pray with me.

Dear Heavenly Father,

Thank you for creating us each differently. With a different path for each of us uniquely designed. God, I pray that you would help us to learn to find beauty in the waiting and satisfaction in resting in you. Be with us on each of our individual journeys, and help us discover who we are meant to be by seeking you above all other things. Calm our anxieties and worries that come right along with adventure.

We love you Lord,

Amen. 

We are Incomparable Works in Progress

This year has been a whirlwind.

5 weeks left of my freshman year of college.

Switching Majors.

New Opportunities.

Blossoming Friendships.

BUT. 

Discouragement and feelings of inadequacy are prevalent.

Uncertainty is always on the horizon.

Often I find myself wondering how in the world God has chosen me?

Have you ever felt like that? 
I mean, you know God has chosen you, loves you, and has a plan for you, but you still have trouble trusting in that. 
Believe me, I understand completely.

This morning at church ROCKED my socks off. Absolutely incredible.

First it started with Sunday school where we are starting a new video series over the book "gods at war." This book talks about what "gods" we have in our lives. The pastor in the video said "At the root of every sin is idolatry." I had never quite thought about that. We talk about sin, and we talk about how to sin minimally, but do we ever really discuss the root of the problem? 

One of the "gods" I think I struggle with is comparison. 
What I mean by that is several different things. 

1. I think I compare my sins, and even justify them with Christians I am in community with.
For instance: "Well, so and so is a good Christian, and they watch that show, or they participate in that activity, or are active on social media."
That is just not how it works. My convictions are my convictions for a reason. Maybe those people don't struggle with those things the way I do.

2. As a part of the music department, I think there is always, always, a struggle with comparison. Everyone struggles with that concept. "Well my voice can't do that" so I'm not good enough. Or whatever it may be for you.

3. Another thing within the comparison realm of things, is feeling inadequate to walk down the path set before me, or that I am ill-equipped to do what God has called me to do, as if I have "shoes to fill."

Here's the thing: 

This morning at church I felt God speak very clearly to me:
"How can you think you are not worthy, or that you will not be prepared for all I have for you? 
I will equip you.
How can you compare the creation of who you are to someone or something, when I have created and am creating that inside you?
TRUST ME, for the thousandth time.
I will use you in such incredible ways."


My goodness. What absolutely mind-boggling, and heart-pounding truth!! (I might have shed a tear or two or three or four....) I was absolutely overwhelmed and overtaken. It is incredible that God just takes us and mold us who we are to be. How crazy are we to not completely trust the plans He has for you, and the plans he has for me? 
 In the back of our minds we worry if we are doing the right thing, we worry what tomorrow will hold, or what 4 years down the road will bring.

A friend told me tonight: "God has instilled in you passions and talents unique to you. Don't worry about what you are going to major in or what you are going to do with your life. He has given you the power to choose what you want to do for the rest of your life. Do what you love, and the Lord is going to honor that and use you." 

2 Corinthians 3:18 says this: "And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory which come from the Lord, who is the Spirit."

I am being transformed into His likeness. You are being transformed into His likeness. We are being transformed to be like Christ so that others may see that transformation written on the tablets of our hearts.

Therefore, since that transformation is taking place to shape us into Gods image, why should we worry about our own?
 Who we are, is who He treasures, even if we are uncertain as to where exactly our identity lies, or what we will do in and with our lives. 

Trust is key. Your journey is unique. You are incomparable. Let Him transform who you are to be.

Let Us Pray.

God, thank you for this wonderful weekend. Thank you for a beautiful warm spring day that revealed your beautiful truth and promises. Help us to always be sensitive to your Spirit, and self-aware of the things we idolize or struggle with. As we journey through the days, may we embrace the person you are creating us to be. You already know where we will end up, help us to trust you as we walk in the "where we are going." Thank you for desiring an intimate relationship with us, creating us all uniquely, calling us all differently, but creating us all in your image.

We Love you Lord.

Amen.

Your face, Lord, I will seek.

WHAT A YEAR. Holy cow. I've managed to graduate, go off to college, and do a little bit of what I like to call "trying to adult." The last time I blogged was the day I loaded up all my stuff in my little Honda Accord and left home. I have been so blessed by all of the exposure to music, my professors who are truly invested in me, I have the best co-workers and boss around, not to mention all of the wonderful friendships I have made in such a short amount of time, and recognizing how much "absence makes the heart grow fonder" of home. 

College is a BLAST. I have learned some valuable lessons this semester, and unfortunately some of them have been the hard way.

I have laughed my hardest. and balled my eyes out. I have felt extremely overwhelmed, and I have experience peace in the midst of the storm. My heart has been over the moon with joy, and has also ached with hurt.

Now, I know a New Year, always brings new resolutions. Not to say, that  I do not have a few of my own. I want to work out more (I know, what you're thinking. "You and every other person on this planet.") I'd like to get a little more sleep (which is quite laughable for a college student to resolve to, but it can't hurt to try.) Yadayadayada.

I briefly mentioned my experience with busyness this past semester. Relationships, work, school, cheer practice, voice practice, piano practice...etc. It was ALOT. Looking back now, yeah, it might have been easier to not have my plate as full, but I think the outcome of what I have discovered deep in my heart would have been different.

You see, in the clouds of all these "priorities" I prayed, I tried to pick up Jesus Calling either before I walked out the door in the morning, or before I fell asleep at night, and journal on occasion. God is always there right? We, I, take advantage of that. He is always there, so He is always going to forgive us for our faults. This is unshakably true, but we also must remember what a gift that is. Unconditional love and forgiveness is so very, very, precious.

My point of all this, is not to preach at you, and say "You need to make God your #1, priority." Which, He definitely should be, but I know as much as anybody, that 99% of the time, this is not the case. This must sadden our Father's heart greatly, He knows we struggle with this world, yet he craves for us to be close to him . Our hearts are constantly wrestling with the pressing deadlines and craziness life throws at us, but He offers peace, rest, and renewal if we would just make the time.

I just needed to share my heart with you all. I want to resolve today, tomorrow, the next day, this year, my LIFE, to being totally consumed by Christ's great love for us. When we pursue God, as he constantly and persistently chases our hearts, the plans we have will evolve into the plans HE has. He knows the DEEPEST, most passionate, raw, desires of our hearts. He will honor our dreams, when we honor Him. In all honesty, I am so tired of putting Him on the backburner, and being a "I'll do better tomorrow" kind of Christian. I want to be a "When I feel God convicting, I will act" kind of Christian. I am completely aware, that this proclamation is serious, and a difficult road to travel.  However, I long for such a transformation. I will mess up, the world will suck me back in, but I am only human. However this is only an obstacle, instead of an excuse.

Maybe you are like me. You desperately desire to find fulfillment and completeness in Christ. You want to find your identity in Him and nothing else. There are dreams you have of going after the things God has called you to do and maybe you have no idea what that will entail. Maybe you can not wait to find the person He created to love you for the very person you are or maybe you have already found that relationship and want your faith to be foundational in every situation

I am confident, whatever your situation may be, that if you let God take your heart in His hands, and are solely confident in who you are in HIM, everything, and I mean every little itsy bitsy, detail you ever wondered about will fall into place exactly how He intended.

As I took two minutes to read today's designated devotional. I was amazed at the words on the page, that seemed to be written for this precise moment in time. "Come to Me with a teachable spirit, eager to be changed. A close life with me is a life of continual newness. Do not cling to old ways as you step into a new year. Instead seek My Face with an open mind, knowing that your journey with Me involves being transformed by the renewing of your mind..... Give yourself fully to this adventure of increasing attentiveness to My Presence. (Sarah Young, Jesus Calling)" How absolutely wonderful. Also, verse reference at the bottom of the page served as another sweet reminder from the Lord because it was my all time favorite verse, Jeremiah 29:11. 
He has a plan, we will prosper when we chase after the God who shapes our hearts, step by step and day by day, His plan for me and you, will make a way.

"My heart says of you, "Seek his face!"
Your face, Lord, I will seek."
Psalm 27:8

Let's Pray.

Father, thank you thank you thank you, for this year. Thank you for another day, and the endless forgiveness you offer. I want to spend more time with you. I want to be consumed by your powerful love, so that I may be transformed. Guide me, as I make these changes in my life, and help my intentions and actions be sincere to my initial goal. I want to resolve my life to you, over and over and over again.

Amen.

Fishers of Men

I honestly had no clue where to go this blog, until this morning. As I was lying in bed last night, saying my evening prayer, I asked God if He would place Him on my mind and heart as soon as I woke. To my surprise (which I should have been surprised), He did exactly that. Only, two hours before my alarm was set to go off. (If you've ever wondered if God has a sense of humor, your curiosity rest in knowing that He certainly does.)

 I tried and tried to go back to sleep, but couldn't because my brain kept turning its wheels until I had somewhat of an epiphany on what today's post would bring. 

This is the day I(and many of my fellow classmates) have been anticipating for over a year now, and it  is  finally here. I'm leaving for college! We are leaving behind all we have ever known, to embark on the journey of starting life out on our own. I can't even begin to describe what that feels like... besides, well, WEIRD. 

As my thoughts were churning this morning, I was trying to figure out how I could relate my circumstance to a story in the Bible. What came to my mind, was the calling of the disciples. Now, the story of "The Calling of  the First Disciples," can be found in the gospel books of the Bible (Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John.) Each of the books, have a different perspective of the stories. Its like, you have four friends, and you were all at the same place, same time, but each were touched by the circumstance in a different way and absorbed different information.  I encourage you to find your favorite version and dive in! If you're feeling really adventurous, read each, or pick two gospels, and compare. 
Matthew 3:18----
Mark 1:14----
Luke 5----
John 1:35----

I'm going to mostly reference the book of Matthew because some of my favorite verses are found within its pages.
Matthew 3:18-22:
"As Jesus was walking beside the Sea of Galilee, he saw two brothers, Simon called Peter and his brother Andrew. They were casting a net into the lake, for they were fishermen. "Come, follow me," Jesus said,"and I will make you fishers of men." At once they left their nets and followed him. Going on from there he saw  two other brothers, James son of Zebadee, preparing their nets, Jesus called them, and immediately they left the boats and their father and followed him." 

This same account in Luke is found in chapter 5, where Jesus actually gets in the boats and tells Simon to "put out into deep water, and let down the nets for a catch", after the men had been fishing all night to no avail. You know the rest... they caught such  large number of fish, that their nets began to break, and both boats became SO full they began to sink.

 The disciples were ordinary men. Jesus came to them on an ordinary day. They left their family's and towns, and their jobs to venture into the unknown, following a man who, they thought could be the true Messiah.
When we accept Jesus into our hearts, we also become disciples. Throughout our faith walk, our different seasons of life, we learn. 

In the gospel of Matthew, you discover many of the (many) lessons Jesus taught his disciples. The Beatitudes(Chapter 5) . "Blessed are the poor in spirit for theirs is the kingdom of heaven..." You also find passages on how we are the salt and light of the earth. (5:13-14) "In this same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven." (verse 16) 
Do not worry. "Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?" (Matthew 6:26-27) 
I could go on and on.

My point is, the disciples were scared, nervous, OVERWHELMED. They had no idea what they were getting into when He first said, "Come follow me." 
We are exactly like the disciples. They had trouble trusting a tangible Jesus, who lived and walked and breathed right beside them. 
We are going to have trouble trusting the Jesus who lives inside us, who we feel, and see in God's creation, miracles, or in just our quietness with Him. 

He has called US to be "fishers of men." So, whether you're like me, fixing to start a whole new chapter of life and you're nervous about the unknown, a little sad you have to leave behind your family and friends.... or maybe you're "some place you've always been," remember that you are a disciple of Christ. Our job, is to follow Him to the best of our ability. There are people you will meet, that will either change you or your love of God will change them. Our work is never through. He is always showing us new ways to trust in Him and giving us new perspective. 

He who is in you, is constantly working,healing, and changing your heart, it is not about what you do or what you're afraid of, it is about your faith remaining unshaken through the sunshine and the storms.

Pray With Me.

Dear Heavenly Father,

Thank you for this day. Thank you for calling us to be "fishers of men," and for always teaching us something new. Help us to trust you when we cannot see where you are leading us, and to shine your light through us along the way. Thank you for exciting new beginnings, and beautiful endings. You are absolutely amazing. Never could we understand your ways, but you have not called us to understand, but to follow no matter what. We love you Lord.

Amen.

Knowing God's Ever-Presence

So. I'm back!
Needless to say, I haven't written in quite awhile. With that being said, there is no particular reason why. God has really been on my heart lately about writing, and I had just been pushing the thought aside until a couple days ago. A friend of mine told me that she was going to start an encouraging blog, and I knew God was tugging at my heart once again. However, here I was, a week later still not following his commands. What really caught my attention was my "timehop" app. A year ago yesterday, was the very day I started my blog. Yet again, God was speaking to me, finally I said "Alright, God. I understand."
 It is absolutely mind boggling how much my life has changed in a year. 

For a graduation gift, I received the daily devotional "Jesus Calling." If you don't have it I strongly suggest picking up a copy. The devotionals that I have come across recently, strongly emphasize the importance of spending time in His Presence. Now, what exactly does that mean?

 Jeremiah 23:23-24 says, " Am I only a God nearby," declares the Lord, "and not a God far away?" "Can anyone hide in secret places so that I cannot see him?"  declares the Lord. "Do not I fill heaven and earth?" declares the Lord."

Our God is a God of ever presence. Never will he leave us, nor will he forsake us. (Deuteronomy 31:6) He is ALWAYS there. His continual Presence, is a promise, guaranteeing that we never have to face anything alone. How I relish this thought! Somehow, I still fall into feelings of loneliness and dissatisfaction as if His loving omnipresence is not enough. God wants us to hold his hand and fully trust Him, and be conscious of His presence. I am designed, You are designed, We are designed to enjoy God above all other things. The fact of the matter is: the deepest fulfillment of our hearts can only be found in Jesus. That void we try to fill with the world, will never leave us feeling truly satisfied. Satisfaction can only truly be found in Christ. When we begin to turn away from God, we are vulnerable to this world of darkness. Sin and fear come more easily. In the Presence of God, that fear melts away. We find peace, a peace that surpasses all understanding (Philippians 4:7). Even as Christians, we are constantly pushing ahead, anxious for the future, and often impatient with God to show us where it is He is leading us. Little do we realize, this is to protect us. His grace is sufficient for us, but only for a day at a time. We get in trouble when we try to pile on all the worries of the future onto one day, when each 24 hours brings its own troubles. He wants us to enjoy Him moment by moment and day by day. His job is to lead, ours is to follow, and to spend time daily in His Presence. 

Do you take time away from the world to spend time with the Father? I struggle with being persistent, but the more you make the effort, the more you realize how absolutely precious this time is. I encourage you to take a little time out of your busy, busy days to spend with our God who dwells in timelessness. For He is, was, and always will be (Revelation 1:8).

Pray with Me.

Most Gracious Heavenly Father,

Thank you for this day. Thank you for being ever present and for the promise to never leave us. Help us to believe that your grace is enough, enough to fill our deepest desires, melt our greatest fears, and discover peace in a world filled with chaos. Day by day, help us to grow in that grace. We love you.

In Jesus's Name,

Amen.

When Searching for Who You Are, Don't Forget Whose You Are

 

In this particular season of life, many of us are trying to figure ourselves out. Who we are, what we're going to do in our lives, where we are going to go, and who we will be come. Through this trivial pursuit of self discovery we often fail to remember WHOSE we are.

 A reoccurring theme in my life right now seems to be that: I am God's. A simple phrase I know, but extremely important. There have been multiple situations during this year, where I have been left wondering: What in the world am I supposed to do with myself? Where am I supposed to go? Who am I to be?

These series of songs have influenced my heart periodically through the last 2 years, and recently I realized God was trying to show me how they all fit together. Here's just a few:

"Love Came Down" by Kari Jobe        

Love came down and rescued me
Love came down and set me free
I am Yours
Lord I'm forever Yours
Mountains high or valley low
I sing out and remind my soul
I am Yours
I am forever Yours

"Oceans" by Hillsong

And I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine

"You are for Me" Kari Jobe
I know that You are for me
I know that You are for me
I know that You will never
Forsake me in my weakness
And I know that You have come now
Even if to write upon my heartTo remind me who You are

"Blameless" by Dara Maclean
Now blameless, You call me Holy
I’ve been forgiven, You call me righteous and free
Now spotless, You call me worthy
I am Your child, You call me chosen
I’m Yours, I am Yours

What do you see in common in all these lyrics? ( I've obviously put words in bold that have developed importance for me and coincide with each other.) In the valleys or in the mountains, when oceans rise, one thing remains the same. We are HIS. In our weakness, our failure, our doubt, all these things are irrelevant to who we are in His eyes. We are forgiven, holy, spotless, free, CHOSEN, we are children of the one true God.


Nothing can separate us from the love of Christ. Romans 8:35-39 states this: "Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written: "For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered." No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

We are His beloved children. No matter who we are, who the world says we are, or what we have done that is less than pleasing in God's sight.

With all this being said, whatever season of life you're in. Whether your searching for yourself, or have found out exactly who you want to be. It doesn't really who we think we are, it matters who we are in Christ. And above all, always, always, ALWAYS remember. Whose you are.

Let us Pray.

Dear Heavenly Father,

Thank you for always pursuing our hearts, and never giving up on us. Thank you for your never ending, never failing, love for us, and the assurance that through the sunshine and the rain your love for us with remain the same. I pray that you will help us to become who you want us to be in you, and guide us in the way we should go. Please help us to always remember that you hold us in the palm of your hand, and we belong to you.

Amen.